Thanks Mom...For Everything

I've been waiting for the right moment to use this picture. I was going to use it a while back but I ended up scrapping that idea all together. Cest la vie I guess. Anyway this is the perfect post for this. It's the perfect time. For those of you who don't know, I have just about reached a very big milestone in my life. Tomorrow at 7:14 or 7:41 am (I always get them mixed up) I turn 20. Honestly I'm not that excited about it. I mean yeah  it's my birthday and that totally rocks but I've never been a fan of growing up. I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE 20!!!!!

All melodrama aside I have to say that I am grateful to be here. It's amazing to be alive. And I know I'm here because of my mom. She has stood by me through so much and I don't really know how to thank her properly. I don't think anyone truly grasps the reverence and admiration I have for that woman. I know that I'm a lot to deal with. I'm rude and moody and messy and a host of other adjectives that escape me at the moment.

If you're reading this (and you're probably not) I love you mom. You are the greatest woman I have ever known and all I want to do is make you proud. Thank you for walking with me every day for the past 2 decades(almost). Thank you for putting up with my mood swings. Thank you for pushing me to be a better person. Thank you for being there. Thank you for being my mom. Thank you for everything.

I know that I make you angry sometimes and you have to resist the urge to throw things at me. But I want you to know that I appreciate everything you've done. Everything you are. I'm so lucky to have you. 

So just in case you didn't know or haven't figured it out by this point in this post.

   Whoever is reading this...take the time out to thank the Wonder Woman in your life. RIGHT NOW

This is how I see you

The Hair Saga Begins

So lets talk about hair. Do you love your hair? You should love hair. Honestly you should love everything about yourself you sexy little vixen. Yeah I'm talking to you. *Joey from friends voice* Hi you doing? Seriously though, this is about hair.

So I've been sporting a relaxer (faithfully) since I was like thirteen or so. I got my first one when I was like ten. Now on a good day when my hair was freshly relaxed or a few weeks from it, it usually looked something like this.








However I get to three or four months post relaxer and forget about being able to do a goddamn thing with it. I was one of those people who only got a relaxer once a year. I could go on about this  but let's move on. I've been thinking about going natural for months but I never really committed to the idea. Until two days ago that is. I woke up like I'm so sick of this. I'm so sick of all of it. Enjoy this list of things I hate about relaxed hair

1. A month or two past relaxer you can't do a thing with your own hair.
2. I have to risk subatomic burning if I happen to scratch my head before I get a relaxer
3. Shit's expensive
4. It smells bad (And I used olive oil)
5. Use Spritz directly after and you almost fall out of your damn chair
6. You can't color your hair for weeks after(Not that I've ever done it it's just the principle)
7. Your hair is thin as fuck (And fuck bump-its)

So obviously it has not been my cup of tea. And my hair still isn't very long. I'm done with this roller coaster. While it will take some time I want my hair to eventually look like this :

The gorgeous woman to your left is Wynter Gordon. And if you don't know who she is well then shame on you! She so nice. I've met her and like oh my god I pretty much came in my pants. Ignore that. Not only is her music awesomesauce, she's really nice and really hot and has AMAZING hair!



So this is the beginning of my hair saga. Join me won't you? I need the support.


I said AWESOMESAUCE GODDAMNIT!!!!

Overhaul.!!!!!!!

So...I've decided to redo my blog. Give it a new look...brighten it up...make it pretty and all that. So don't be surprised if it looks a little wonky for the next few days. I'm not done yet. But I'm liking this new layout. What do you think?

So umm yeah...I've been meaning to call you but uhhh...like...life you know...

So errr...yup...hi. I've been neglecting this. Don't I start out this way a lot? Anyway I figure this is just my smoke signal post. To let you know I'm still alive and all that. I don't even have anything to rant about because I'm too fucking tired. I have no clever quips or stupid romantic problems (for once...for now...) I've got absolutely nothing for ya...sorry. This really is a waste of your time. I'll get back into this I promise. And actually be some sort of amusing at some point. Give me a few days.

Like I started school about two weeks ago now. And I've been sitting on my ass for a year so me trying to get back in the swing of it has been good. I fucking procrastinate like a fucking champ dude. I'm sorry. I'm sleepy so every other word out of my mouth is fuck. Avert your eyes kiddies and virtuous ones. My grades are looking pretty good so far..in case you were wondering. In case anyone's reading.

Uhhhh...what else.? There's this girl I want. But there's always a girl right. Maybe I think with my lady boner (don't ask I heard it on tv somewhere) But that's not really an issue. I don't think I have a chance. Errr...I went to Uproar on the ninth and it was fucking amazing. Popped my Banana's A7X cherry. Screamed my head off. It was all good bro. 

All the TV shows I watch are on hiatus or over so now I don't have shit to do *cough*homework*cough* So I'll be back on here trying to be funny more often. I have class in a few hours so I should go. Just wanted to let you know that I'm still here. Are you with me still? Goodnight.

P.S. To Alan Ball and Marlene King,

                    WHAT THE FUCK DUDE.? LIKE REALLY.!

                                                          Sincerely, Me

                                                                     

Attack of the Baby Boomers?!!?!?!?!!

 Yet another one of my friends has given birth to a child. Countless other people I graduated high school with are pregnant as I type this. So I was wondering...Is this the new generation of baby boomers.? Has the definition of the phrase changed from this: 

To this?:

Will the influx of babies born to babies be what we're remembered for? That's depressing to think about. Why can't we be known for how intelligent we are or how we're going to shape the future of this country? But   alas we bring you this:

While teen pregnancy rates are dropping there seems to be no shortage of teenage girls spreading their legs and bringing yet another mouth to feed into the world. Good job girls...Good job.

P.S. I begrudge no one their happiness. I have no ill will toward teen mothers. I am the product of a teen mother. I just don't think it should be glorified like it is now....Fucking MTV