Flaws and All

So I usually try to keep these blogs abstract. I ask general question to the populus based on real life situations. But right now I'm going to focus specifically on myself. Consider this me taking time to be self-centered.

Let me first say that I really can't stand Beyonce but i heard this song yesterday and it was eerily accurate to what I've been feeling lately. I'm flawed and sometimes I try to make sure no one finds out about it.

So here's my bit. I don't like hurting people. I actually go out of my way to make sure that I don't. Problem is that I still want to do the less than intelligent things that I like to do from time to time. Maybe  don't want consequences..no that isn't it. I don't want things that I do to negatively affect others. If a meteor drops on my head because I was being an idiot then I'm fine with that. I truly am.

Another thing...I'm a total romantic. I've realized this recently. Not that I am expecting anyone to make some grand sweeping gesture for me any time soon I still appreciate what my brain equates romance to be. Did I just contradict myself? This is life. I'd be confused if someone was standing outside my window with a radi...no let's be realistic...an ipod dock over their heads. I'd probably call the cops. I don't want people buying me things because I might hurt them. And if I hurt you then you'd be upset you spent x amount of dollars on my behalf. It's a freaking recession so I'm being practical. Is it possible to be a romantic realist...a romantic pessimist?

I can't be in a relationship. Monogamy is ridiculous...in most cases anyway. I am loathe to believe that anyone is worth that level of commitment. I can't even commit to a pair of underwear until they're  half way up. I sorta want to be in a relationship..sorta.. There are people that I would really love to try with but I'm always scared something that I did in the past will come back and bite me in the ass. Maybe I shouldn't do the things I do...yeah I'm just going to be good from now on... I swear.

*twiddles thumbs*

Gosh that was hard

I'm clearly a mess

Gotta love me flaws and all

Pleads and Postcards

In all honesty there isn't much to say really. Talk until you're blue in the face and see if anything gets accomplished... When you really wash your hands of a situation or a given person...does it really matter? Does anyone care? This will be the last time that i speak of this or like this. *cough* yeah right *cough* So to quit or not to quit...that is the question. Dig your heels in for the long hall or send a post card from Tahiti...

Your choice...

Love like Woe

The smallest of words are the hardest concepts to grasp. Explain love, hate, joy, woe. Words have so much impact on our lives and decisions. Whoever said "sticks and stones may break my bones but words can't hurt me" was an idiot. It should be changed to "sticks and stones may break my bones but words can change the world."

My understanding of these three and four letter words is limited. How many times do we claim to love our families then damn them to hell? How many times do we do this to our friends? Admittedly I have said the there are people that I hate and it would bring me great joy to see them kicked into a volcano. But in reality is it really just an outward expression of my anger at the situation and the way it was handled? Probably.

Is it possible to love and to be in love or do we do things just out of spite? Do we pursue relationships with completely pure intentions or are we answering a challenge? Will it really drive me crazy if I don't hear my name on her lips. Will I lose it if her smile isn't because of something I do or say? I probably will just because I'm extremely just myself...And that leads me back to my limited understanding. Is it like...lust..or that other word?

I'm now left to pose this question. Am I even old enough to understand four letter words? Now if you asked me to explain schadenfreude or recitivate I'm your man(woman...you catch my drift) With age comes wisdom right? But what age are we speaking of. Now that we've sucessfully survived the ass kicking that was puberty wisdom should be oozing out of our ears right? Of course not...I enjoy being young, dumb and impressionable. Most of the time anyway.

I like
I love
I lust after
I hate (I think)

Short words are too complicated for my life