Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Saturday, March 9, 2013
The Hair Saga Continues: Nappy Anniversary!
Guess what guys? It's Aife's Anniversary. It's officially been a year and I couldn't be more proud of myself. I've learned a lot over the past year and I want to talk about it with you.
1. It will always be more drastic than you expect:
When I did my big chop I hadn't had a relaxer in upwards of a year anyway. For various reasons. Lack of money, lack of time...you name it. And the thought of getting another one filled me with more dread than anything so I decided that I consciously wasn't going to relax anymore. Which was a liberating feeling honestly. But in the same token the thought of cutting off the relaxed ends -even though they were useless- honestly made me cry. A girl was a already hard up for some hang time and here was the time I had to commit to having even LESS hair. That just didn't seem right.
But I did it. And immediately after I covered my head with a full weave. I wasn't ready to look at it. To deal with it. About 3 or 4 weeks later I took it down and washed my fully natural head for the first time I don't know how long. When I unwrapped my head and looked in the mirror my first thought was "I look like a boy." As a queer woman I have no problems blurring the lines a little with what it means to be masculine or feminine. But I looked like my kid brother and that was a bit too boyish for me. I regretted taking my hair down. For an hour or two at least. Then I pulled myself together. This was my decision and my commitment. Was it what I was expecting? No. Hell no. But that's okay. This is a learning process.
2. Love, Length Envy and other reactions:
I've gotten a bunch of different reactions when it came to going natural. One of my best friends who's been natural her whole life was kind of like..."and?" My mom was like "okay great...whatever you want to do." My grandparents think I wear too much weave anyway so... No let's dissect them a little more. My grandfather doesn't like the colors I chose. My grandmother just doesn't like it. She doesn't like perfume either but that's a different rant. I remember going to my aunts house. completely fro'd out -the curls from my twist out had fallen- and my grandmother -who had just cut off all her hair- looked at me and said "Oh I'm so glad I don't have that problem." To which I replied. "I don't see it as a problem. I like my fro." This is a big deal because it's the first I'd ever said it...and really meant it.
When I finally saw another "aunt" of mine her reaction was...i don't know how to explain it really. I remember her saying "You cut off your hair?" To which I replied I had gone natural She replied "I understand, sometimes you just get sick of it...but if you ever want to go back to relaxers it'll take really well." Ummm...is that supposed to be a compliment? I get a lot of "Oh I love your hair... but I could never do that... I couldn't deal with it everyday. It's cute on you though." And I have to be honest sometimes it's hard. And Aife acts a damn fool but I stand by her even on the days when I hate her. The funny thing about it was that I had these people who were loving my hair...and I wasn't one of them. I'd go on youtube and look at hair videos and see these beautiful girls with shoulder length, back length hair and I was still in the awkward right after TWA phase. I'd get so sad sometimes. I still do occasionally. But I really have embraced Aife for what she gives me. -Hell as you can see I've named her- And we'll get there. Some day.
3. Low manipulation does NOT mean No manipulation:
Truth- I can't french braid or flat twist to save my life. I mean sure I practice but the results are rarely any good. So I was hard up to find styles that I could do myself aside from the wash-n-go and blow drying/ flat ironing. It's been a lot of trial and error. A lot of frustration and sew ins when I just can't take it any more. And to top it off I'm a culinary arts major. I have to wear a chef's hat in a very dry kitchen for hours on end. Not good for the kinks let me tell you. So I was real quick to just through some moisturize and and a beanie and call it a day. Which I still do if I'm just running to the store. This is horrible for my hair so I make it a point to stop doing it. My hair is breaking a lot less these days
I've invested in wigs. A short pink one and a mid length blue one. They're really good for when I'm running late for things or just miss having straight hair. I've mentioned before how I don't blow dry or flat iron. In the beginning I used to. Now it just doesn't happen. I've since found a twist method that works for me. I've invested in flexi rods and when I get some cash I'm going to try curl formers. I have to admit I'm really feeling the itch to get some zillions or kinky twists so we'll see. Every time I style my hair I get a little bit better at it so if you're like me and aren't really skilled in the art of hair hang in there, you'll get the hang of it. We're learning ladies.
4. Naming Aife and admitting I might have a problem:
Aife (Pronounced ee-fa) is an Irish name which translates to "radiant". I've long been fascinated with different cultures and mythologies. I have a triquetra (celtic knot) tattooed on my wrist and it just kind of fit you know. Now if I can keep my hands out of my curls we'll be all good.
And lastly I must admit that I am a budding product junkie. I'm not necessarily buying a lot because I'm poor but I research a lot of things and I want to try a lot of things when I do get the money. But that's alright. I gotta find what works.
There are a million other things that I could say but this post is getting long so I'll stop here. I'll be back to ramble some more. And when I find my camera I'll even post pics. Adieu until then CurlyGirls!
P.S. I'm still very open to your tips, suggestions and stories. Drop a line.
XOXO
1. It will always be more drastic than you expect:
When I did my big chop I hadn't had a relaxer in upwards of a year anyway. For various reasons. Lack of money, lack of time...you name it. And the thought of getting another one filled me with more dread than anything so I decided that I consciously wasn't going to relax anymore. Which was a liberating feeling honestly. But in the same token the thought of cutting off the relaxed ends -even though they were useless- honestly made me cry. A girl was a already hard up for some hang time and here was the time I had to commit to having even LESS hair. That just didn't seem right.
But I did it. And immediately after I covered my head with a full weave. I wasn't ready to look at it. To deal with it. About 3 or 4 weeks later I took it down and washed my fully natural head for the first time I don't know how long. When I unwrapped my head and looked in the mirror my first thought was "I look like a boy." As a queer woman I have no problems blurring the lines a little with what it means to be masculine or feminine. But I looked like my kid brother and that was a bit too boyish for me. I regretted taking my hair down. For an hour or two at least. Then I pulled myself together. This was my decision and my commitment. Was it what I was expecting? No. Hell no. But that's okay. This is a learning process.
2. Love, Length Envy and other reactions:
I've gotten a bunch of different reactions when it came to going natural. One of my best friends who's been natural her whole life was kind of like..."and?" My mom was like "okay great...whatever you want to do." My grandparents think I wear too much weave anyway so... No let's dissect them a little more. My grandfather doesn't like the colors I chose. My grandmother just doesn't like it. She doesn't like perfume either but that's a different rant. I remember going to my aunts house. completely fro'd out -the curls from my twist out had fallen- and my grandmother -who had just cut off all her hair- looked at me and said "Oh I'm so glad I don't have that problem." To which I replied. "I don't see it as a problem. I like my fro." This is a big deal because it's the first I'd ever said it...and really meant it.
When I finally saw another "aunt" of mine her reaction was...i don't know how to explain it really. I remember her saying "You cut off your hair?" To which I replied I had gone natural She replied "I understand, sometimes you just get sick of it...but if you ever want to go back to relaxers it'll take really well." Ummm...is that supposed to be a compliment? I get a lot of "Oh I love your hair... but I could never do that... I couldn't deal with it everyday. It's cute on you though." And I have to be honest sometimes it's hard. And Aife acts a damn fool but I stand by her even on the days when I hate her. The funny thing about it was that I had these people who were loving my hair...and I wasn't one of them. I'd go on youtube and look at hair videos and see these beautiful girls with shoulder length, back length hair and I was still in the awkward right after TWA phase. I'd get so sad sometimes. I still do occasionally. But I really have embraced Aife for what she gives me. -Hell as you can see I've named her- And we'll get there. Some day.
3. Low manipulation does NOT mean No manipulation:
Truth- I can't french braid or flat twist to save my life. I mean sure I practice but the results are rarely any good. So I was hard up to find styles that I could do myself aside from the wash-n-go and blow drying/ flat ironing. It's been a lot of trial and error. A lot of frustration and sew ins when I just can't take it any more. And to top it off I'm a culinary arts major. I have to wear a chef's hat in a very dry kitchen for hours on end. Not good for the kinks let me tell you. So I was real quick to just through some moisturize and and a beanie and call it a day. Which I still do if I'm just running to the store. This is horrible for my hair so I make it a point to stop doing it. My hair is breaking a lot less these days
I've invested in wigs. A short pink one and a mid length blue one. They're really good for when I'm running late for things or just miss having straight hair. I've mentioned before how I don't blow dry or flat iron. In the beginning I used to. Now it just doesn't happen. I've since found a twist method that works for me. I've invested in flexi rods and when I get some cash I'm going to try curl formers. I have to admit I'm really feeling the itch to get some zillions or kinky twists so we'll see. Every time I style my hair I get a little bit better at it so if you're like me and aren't really skilled in the art of hair hang in there, you'll get the hang of it. We're learning ladies.
4. Naming Aife and admitting I might have a problem:
Aife (Pronounced ee-fa) is an Irish name which translates to "radiant". I've long been fascinated with different cultures and mythologies. I have a triquetra (celtic knot) tattooed on my wrist and it just kind of fit you know. Now if I can keep my hands out of my curls we'll be all good.
And lastly I must admit that I am a budding product junkie. I'm not necessarily buying a lot because I'm poor but I research a lot of things and I want to try a lot of things when I do get the money. But that's alright. I gotta find what works.
There are a million other things that I could say but this post is getting long so I'll stop here. I'll be back to ramble some more. And when I find my camera I'll even post pics. Adieu until then CurlyGirls!
P.S. I'm still very open to your tips, suggestions and stories. Drop a line.
XOXO
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)