I will have accomplished all that I want to. I'll be able to look back at this moment and say that I made it. But that is not now and once again I'm bummed out. It is unfathomably difficult to watch your plans crash and burn. And sometimes I think that I am going to feel this way forever. But at the same time I know that I won't. It will get better. I'll probably end up writing a letter to my 19 year old self. I'll tell myself that it all turned out rosy and the hardships gave me character...or something.
One day I'll be able to create this:
In my sleep
One day I'll wear on of these:
I'm realizing now that it's okay for things to not go exactly according to plan. I'm learning that I do not have to adhere myself to some insanely strict life schedule. I'm learning to take my time. It's hard but I'm trying.
