Happy December

Just wanted to put this out there. I'll be back after finals next week

Where in the almighty fuck...

did the month of november go? Like seriously. I don't understand it. Things have gone down. Some I will disclose others I will definitely not. Figuring out where to start is the problem. By the way I've been tagged in a  blog hop which I'm going to get out. I promise. I just need to head to bead now because I have to get up at the ass crack of dawn. Friday classes are the DEVIL

The Hair Saga Continues: It's not..but maybe it is

If you saw my name on an application you would assume I was a black girl. If you found my ipod just lying around or browsed through my Kindle library you most likely would not. I'm aware of this. I'm okay with this. There is no shame in being me. <=== It took me 21 years to figure this out.

Lately I've been reading a lot and hearing about how the "Natural Hair Movement" is this huge political statement that African American women are making. That they are rejecting European standards of beauty and all that hoopla. Like it's a huge huge deal right now. Which is all fine and great I guess but I find myself torn.

What about the girls who did it just because they were sick of salons, latex gloves, itchy/burning scalps.? What about the women who couldn't justify the expense in an economy like this one? What about the ladies who were just sick of all the work? Not to say that being natural isn't work because it is...its just different.

Like I've stated before I read a good amount of hair blogs and almost every single one I feel this urgent hammering. The constant blare of  "I'M A BLACK WOMAN! LOOK AT ME EMBRACE MY BLACKNESS! I'M SO HAPPY NOT THAT I'VE EMBRACED THIS IDEA OF WHAT A CONFIDENT BLACK WOMAN IS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE, FEEL LIKE, ACT LIKE. JOIN ME! ACCEPT YOURSELF...THIS WAY"

This is when I get irritated and go watch Jenna Marbles on Youtube. I don't need to be reminded what color my skin is. I don't need to keep being preached to about who I am. Goddamnit I've been a little black girl for a long freaking time. I know how it works. Fuck.

When I decided to do this I had no political agenda. I still don't honestly...at least I don't believe I do.  Is my natural hair a statement to the people who have called me Oreo my entire life? Am I thumbing my nose at the people who tell me that I don't sound black or act black? (what does that even mean?) I doubt  it. But sometimes I wonder.

On the list of words I use to identify myself anything that has to do with race is firmly planted at the bottom. I'm just a girl and it's just hair. Right?

In case you were wondering

I'm writing a novel! And no this is not something new that I just jumped into. I've been working on this particular piece on and off since I was seventeen. (That's almost four years if you were counting) I don't know if I'll ever publish it but I do know that I'm going to finish it. For me. This is something I need to see through to the end. I admit that there are days when I want to scrap the whole project. There is this little voice in my head that tells me that no one would care. That no one will want to hear the story of these two amazing, frustrating, funny girls that are with me every minute of every day. But that's okay.

Even if it sits on my computer for the rest of my life it WILL be done. My words mean everything to me. I'm a writer, a (sporadic) blogger, an aspiring chef/ physician... a hypocritical health nut (I have horrible eating habits). I have a lot going on and sometimes I feel like I just keep heaping more onto myself. Often I feel like I'm drowning but I'll figure it out. I have things to prove...to the little girl I was. To the (no-where-near) adult that I'm turning into. If you're out there...if you're interested...I'm willing to share

Tasty Tuesday

Someone let me know when January comes.

Crafts & Procrastination.

I suck. I know. Moving on. I want to start crafting more. I make my own headbands when the mood strikes me. And I like looking at craft blogs. Also there is green paint on my toe. See ya Tuesday

XOXO

Adventures in Awkward: Surefire ways to convince your manager that you're a simpleton

Well hello there! Do you project a spunky delightful slightly nerdish personality to the outside world? Are you really an awkward turtle on the inside. If you are well then you should feel right at home here. And if not...well then I'll teach you how to be just like me .

Originally, I vowed to never right about my job but all vows must be broken sometime. The day has com where my A-in-A officially becomes part of the heaven I have created here. Yes it is FMK Friday and I'm going to get to that but this...I must get out. I present to you a list of surefire ways to make your manager think you are a simpleton. Obviously the first step in this scenario is to get a job. Then move on to my tutorial.

- Be really bad at math (all of a sudden)

Okay now there is a precursor to this. Did you literally ace Algebra II with Trig your senior year? Perfect. If not the first thing I need you to do is get really good at math. Complex theorems and all that. Got it? Good. Now forget basic addition and subtraction. Excellent. Now on to the real world example

EX: C.M. is working morning shift at PotDerp's with Jack*. Now C.M. likes Jack a lot (no hetero) he has mastered this sort of hipster cool that doesn't make you want to stab yourself in the eyeball. From him it is authentic and you might be vaguely jealous of his coolness. The pair is chit chatting as all PotDerp employees are won't to do in the down time between customers when all of a sudden an older male customer appears. C.M. rings up his purchase with all the flourish and quirk she can muster. The exchange goes thusly

C.M.: That'll be 18.97
Male customer: -Hands C.M. money-
C.M. :  -press wrong button- -curse in head- Ummm. Jack?"
Jack: Yes?
C.M. : I pressed the wrong button.
Jack: Oh?
C.M: Yeah. I pressed 20. He gave me 100.
Jack: You can't do that in your head?
C.M.: Uhhhh
Jack: Just add 50 to that. -slightly amused stare-
C.M. : Oh I knew that. Just wanted to make sure I was right. I didn't want my drawer to be off. -kick self in head-
Jack: -Nod- -Goes back to previous task
C.M.:  -Die from shame over load- -hand customer change-

-Make simple mistake (that can get him fired)

Now at this point in this tutorial we assume that  you have had this job for a few months now. You've gotten pretty confident that you basically know all the ins and outs of your position. Of course you're not sure of everything but you don't voice that. Even if you mess up it cant be that bad...right?

Ex: C.M. is closing PotDerp's with Jack and Bryan* and Beth* It's around 9:05 pm and everyone is finishing up closing tasks when C.M. gets the bright idea to pull the soup early ( <=== BAD BAD BAD) C.M. grabs ice usually used to cool soup, pulls soup from warmer and goes back to closing tasks. Bryan appears.

Bryan: Did you do this?
C.M.: Yeah
Bryan: Did Jack say you could do that before we officially close?
C.M.: Uhhhh.
Bryan: I'll ask.
*Time passes* -C.M. runs to do closing tasks as far away from the soup as possible-
Bryan: Hey C.M. We have to put the soup back
C.M.: Okay -goes back to other tasks-

When C.M. returns Jack is doing temp check on the soup. C.M.'s stomach drops. Slow she returns to her place behind the counter

Jack: C.M.
C.M. : Yes?
Jack: Never ever pull soups before 9:15. We have to have soup to serve until we lock the door. It's really important. I could lose my job for that.
C.M.: Oh, I understand. I'm sorry.
Jack: (to random customer): I have chilli right now. That's all
Random customer: Oh that's fine I'll take chilli.
C.M. (to self): Shit. (To Jack) I'm really sorry.

Are you cringing? Yes? Good. That's good. If not...oh buddy you're about to.

-Fail spectacularly (at something you're pretty good at)

Now I don't mean something you just got the hang of. I mean something you do day in and out. Like you are positive you have this down. Then fail at that thing. Fail really REALLY hard. Yes. Good Job.

Ex: As per usual C.M. is closing with Jack and other coworkers. Per her station C.M. is cranking out shakes. She makes two chocolate shakes then goes about her business. Cut to five minutes later when Jack is walking up to her with vaguely disappointed face.
Jack: C.M.?
C.M. : Yes?
Jack: Can you make me another chocolate shake? This one has a hair on it.
C.M. : Oh? OH! Yeah. Um. Definitely
Jack: Also, C.M. This is the fill line -gestures to cup- if it's under that then don't give it to the customer.
C.M. : Okay
Jack: -Tosses lovingly made shake-

Did I mention that we are  ServSafe certified? That's important. We have just made one of the most egregious errors in the food world because we got cocky. Chew on that one for a while. But buckle up because this one  is a two-fer. *Cut to 9:15* Everyone is going about closing tasks. C.M. remembers that she needs to empty iced tea bin thingy. She moves said thingy to edge of fountain and flips the switch-er-whatever it's called into the permanently on position and goes to wipe down tables. Like she usually does. When she returns however not only is the fountain full but the tea is spilling out and onto the floor.

C.M. (to self) the fuck? (out loud) Oh dear
Jack: -Most confused and pitying look C.M. has ever seen. Shakes head-  Always do that in the sink over there. -gestures to shake sink-
C.M. Ahhh. Okay.

Congratulations! He now probably thinks you're dumber than a box of rocks! Now you may be asking yourself   how do you know if you have succeeded in this task. Let me tell you...if you're asking, you have definitely succeeded. And we're now in the same boat. I'm going to keep the next few steps short.

-Marvel at how you're not fired yet/  how you got hired in the first place.
-Consider crying in the bathroom. Then get your shit together and clean up the mess fucktard.
-Tell manager a story that makes him laugh then realize that maybe its that which got you to this point. And realize that we are NOT people who give up. We fuck up, we learn from it and move on.
-Go home and blog about it.

*All of the previous stories have really happened to me. No sugar coating. No using anyone else as examples
*Names changed to  protect identities and my employment. I'm fucking poor.
Sadly this will probably become a feature. Here's hoping I don't have to do too many

Emu, Emu...Schnouzer?

I know I know. You're wondering where I've been. Well as luck would have it I've been on vacation...after working an insane amount of hours. I'm coming back soon chickadees. Real soon

The Hair Saga Continues: How in the hell?!

I'm going to paint a picture for you.

Picture the following:
-Brown skin girl...about 5'4' in skinny jeans, a grey hoodie, an aqua beret, and a fabulously distressed Mossimo green satchel
- Location: The local Target...specifically the shampoo aisle
-Add bewildered expression.

And there my lovely readers you have me. I have honestly never been so lost in my life. So many bottles, so many ingredients. Damage repair...humidity defying...Silicone free...low sulfates...Color me happy...I was dizzy. As you may know I did my BC in March. So I've been natural for all of five months now. And it's been good. I can pull my hair back into a ponytail if I blow dry it which I try really hard not to do. I flying by the seat of my pants here. Trial by fire. I spend a good chunk of my time off browsing hair blogs and watching YouTube videos looking for someone to show me what to do.

Doing the BC was so liberating for me. And not because I'm on some quest to assert my "blackness". Because honestly that is the furthest thing from my mind. I think my skin color is the prettiest thing I have ever seen but aside from that I couldn't give two fucks about race. I mean...have you read my blog? Anyway, I told you all about how I didn't want to be a slave to chemicals in my first post about hair. I was just so sick of  all of it. And seeing as I had been perming my hair on and off since I was like ten I had to admit to myself that I didn't even know what my natural hair was like. I wanted...NEEDED to know. To learn.

Taking care of my natural hair is a whole new ball game for me. Like I don't even know all the rules yet and I figure I might never really know. But I am trying. I am committed to this.

Back to my Target excursion. I stood in that aisle...well there are two where I live and just stared. I read ingredient panels...some of which I couldn't even pronounce which I took as a bad sign. I eventually wandered over to the section of  the aisle that seemed to be specifically for girls with hair like mine. I picked up a jar of Miss Jessie's Whatever-the-fuck. I read the label and the ingredients...all systems go there. Looked at the price...58 goddamned dollars. For one freaking jar!

Excuse my profanity but umm...bitch no. Who the hell do you think I am? I'm a 20 year old college student with a part time job at a sandwich shop, and a cat (who's expensive as fuck btw), who's trying to move out of her mother's house. I can't afford that. And even if I could I doubt would spend that much on stuff.  I looked at Mixed Chicks, Shea Moisture, and even more Miss Jessie's even after my mini heart attack. In the end I ended up buying so Doo Gro growth oil and some Tresseme Natural shampoo and conditioner...and some some Hershey Toffee Nuggets (for emotional distress) A girl is on a budget but she does have standards. I'll come back and tell you how I'm liking Tresseme. Like I said before feel free to drop me a comment on your experiences and what you use. Help a newbie out.

I love you for stopping by

XOXO

From my Kitchen Friday: Meatballs and Blasphemy

For the longest time I have had one philosophy... well actually I have a few but for the purpose of this post I have one. And it is this: Soup is NOT filling. It's just not. Seriously who gets full from soup? No one, that's who. Well until last night that is. I went against my self and made a filling soup.

Inspiration: I wanted chicken soup but not the normal kind. To the fridge I went.

Ingredients:

• 1lb ground chicken
• 1 egg slightly beaten
• 3 tbsp Bread crumbs
• salt
• pepper
• onion powder 
• garlic powder
• paprika
• 2 tbsp worcestershire sauce
• Italian seasons
• 1 bag frozen Cheese tortellini
• Frozen Soup Veggies
• Beef Broth
• Chicken Broth
• 1tbsp butter
• 1 tbsp olive oil

* Did you catch it? We're making meat balls people. Let's get this party started

Directions:

1. In a large bowl mix ground chicken, egg, bread crumbs , worcestershire sauce, and other seasonings. Mix gently with your hands but don't over do it. Otherwise they get tough
2. Form meatballs fairly small, like golfball size and set aside (should make at least 20)
3. In a decent size pot heat half a box (I use the boxed kind) of chicken broth and half a box of beef broth. If you're using cans use two of each. Add your frozen vegetables. Bring to a boil over medium heat.
4. Season broth with salt, pepper, and Italian seasoning. Once the pot is boiling add your cheese tortellini
5.  In a skillet heat butter and olive oil. When the pan is hot add your meat balls in batches of five. Brown on one side for three minutes then flip and let them brown on the other side. Once each batch is done transfer meatballs into the pot.
6. Once all the meatballs are in the pot turn your heat to low and cover. Simmer for 20 minutes.
7. Enjoy :)

What.? I even have pictures this time

So good

paired with breadsticks 

Notes:

• This time around there weren't any tense moments
• Feel free to use fresh veggies
• If you rather not use the beef broth just double up on chicken broth

Tasty Tuesday

Sexy thy name is Carla. I know I talk about her a lot but come on! Look at her!!! 

Slam Saturday

So much respect for this man. What do you think?

From my Kitchen Friday: Lunch Edition

So I usually don't eat much in the daytime. Which is a problem that I'm working on. If you've come across my blog before then you know that a while back I was on weight watchers. (I recently renewed my subscription by the way) So I wanted to share with you a recipe I used to eat all the time for lunch.

Inspiration: Learning not to wait until like 6 to eat something.

Ingredients:

• 1 whole wheat tortilla
• 1 serving of your favorite brand turkey lunch meat
• 2 strips turkey bacon cooked crisp
• 1 tbsp light mayo
• 1/4 cup reduced fat Mexican cheese
• barbecue sauce (use how ever much you like)
• 1 handful fresh baby spinach ( I never really measured)

Directions:

1. Stir mayo with your favorite barbecue sauce and spread onto your tortilla
2. Press spinach into mayo spread
3. Top with Turkey
4. Break up your bacon just a little and sprinkle your cheese
5. Roll and enjoy

Notes:

• Usually I paired this with veggie chips, strawberries and a diet iced tea. It's an amazing filling luch
• Feel free to make substitutions and tell me about it

Rape the Replay Wednesday

Do you love Maroon 5? You love Maroon 5. There's no way you couldn't. They're just so wonderful. And I'm not talking about Adam. As a whole they are a major force of talent. Fangirling aside please enjoy...


Maroon 5 - She Will Be Loved (Official Music... by vjarmanisuits

Tasty Tuesday

Shhh I'm having a moment

Tasty Tuesday

Sabi is so hot. And her music makes me want to dance. She can sing to me anytime

From my Kitchen Friday: Mocha Brownies

Oh. My. God. Post 100. I'm sorry this is so late. I decided I was going to take a short nap after I got off work. It turned out not to be so short. Anyway, For such a momentous occasion I decided my time will best be spent talking about chocolate.

Inspiration: I really wanted a java chip frappucino today, which I couldn't go get because I was stuck at home. So I really needed a chocolate/coffee something...anything really

Ingredients:

• Your favorite boxed brownie mix or use whatever your go to scratch recipe like this one.
• 1 cup heavy whipping cream
• 2 packets instant expresso powder ( If you don't have packets teaspoons will suffice. I'd use four but it's up to you)
• 1/4 cup of powdered sugar
• Mini chocolate chips (optional)

Directions:

1. If you're using a mix prepare following provided instructions...same goes for the scratch recipe just add the expresso (2 tsp) at the very end.
2. While brownies are baking pour heavy cream in a clean bowl and whip with remaining powdered sugar an expresso .
3. When brownies are completely cooled top with whipped cream and mini chocolate chips
4. Enjoy :)

Notes:

• For presentation I bake mine in cupcake liners so everyone has the same amount of brownie. Portion control is important folks
• There will be a tense moment when you think the whipped cream won't whip...or that you've done something wrong. Give it some time . You'll be fine. If the whipping cream doesn't work for you...feel free to use Cool Whip. No judgement here

I send you love from my kitchen. Happy Friday

Rape the Replay Wednesday

So I just realized that this is post 99 for me. Wow. I never actually  thought that I would make it this far. To keep up with this for this long not counting the long periods of nothing. I'm proud and I appreciate everyone who even looks at my blog let alone follows the thing. Thanks. Lament. Lament. Moving on. This week I give you....



This song live....one of the best things on the planet. Like sex in your ears. Listen, Learn & Love people. Share it with your significant others. And please...for me...Rape the Replay

Tasty Tuesday

Mmmm. Delicious. You're welcome