Joie De La Lecture*

Do you love books? I love books. Let's talk about books okay? Okay cool

Out of the six books that I've had on my roster I've finished three of them but I want to talk about two of them in particular. I finished both of these books in the last week or so and the endings stick with me. My mood goes from enraged to confused depending on which book you ask me about.

First up is: Bastard out of Carolina by Dorthy Allison

I know a lot people have probably seen the film adaptation of this book. Starring the lovely Jena Malone However I think it might be more famous or infamous based on how many people flat out refuse to read or watch it. Well allow me to join the ranks of the few and proud who have done both. And honestly people there were times in both instances when I thought I wouldn't make it to the end.

This book is by far the most disturbing thing I have ever read. I went into this thinking that there was no way that this book could be more disturbing than the film. Newsflash: I was WRONG.



Do me a favor dear reader and watch 4:57-9:52. Can you stomach it? I have to say that I was happy as hell when Bone's uncles beat the shit out of that son of a bitch. It was by far my favorite part of the entire film. Now that you are armed with this knowledge I can explain to you why the book enrages me so. I watched the movie before I read the book. I knew how this was going to end. That didn't change the fact that I kept hoping that Anney would grow a damn brain. I kept hoping that she would leave that puss bucket and do right by her daughters which is what she preaches about all the damn time. But that didn't happen. She was even more infuriating in book form. I also have to point out how twisted Bone's way of thinking became as the book went on. It was frightening and painful and... honest

That's the one positive thing I can say about this book. And it really isn't a compliment. Bone's voice is so real . There isn't any sugarcoating or any fancy words. It's just her. I cannot say that I recommend this book or film to anyone. I think that has to be a choice you have to make on your own. All I can say is:

STOP CHILD ABUSE AND MOLESTATION!!!

And let's move on to something less dark

Hahaha See what I did there.? *crickets*

Awakened is the eighth book in the House of Night Series. If you have a penitent for vampires like I do I suggest you pick this up. Seriously it's infuriatingly good and it's not just some mushy romance novel. *cough* Twilight *cough* It actually adds to the always growing vampire mythos. There is so much mythology in this story. It has a great grasp of different cultures and histories as well as belief systems It's all blended into this amazing series of which I'm eight books into and haven't given up on. * Seeing as I don't do spoilers there isn't much I can say. After all this is book eight and some of you have yet to read book one. But the following things I have to put out there.

1. You CANNOT put red tattoos on a Raven Mocker, through him on the cover and go through the entire book and not explain where the hell they came from! It's just not right.
2. Dearest Dragon, I understand your pain (okay maybe I don't ) but seriously GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!
3. WHY JACK.? Tell me P.C. ! WHY JACK.? It could've been  Erik. No one would have minded that.

 *Sigh* Books 

Notes:

* Joie De La Lecture translates to "The Joy of Reading" Which I got off of a T-Shirt designed by the oh so amazing Bethany Joy Galeotti (Haley James Scott OTH) I'm broke but you should totally go buy a shirt because the proceeds go to charity and I mean come on...It's Haley!

*You're probably going to hate me for this but I gave up on Harry Potter 1 page into The Goblet of Fire

  

Fun Fun Fun Fun

I've been feeling really crappy lately. I've been mopey and irritable and sleep deprived. At this point everything just seems really difficult to me right now. So in an effort to pull myself out of my pit of sulky-ness I've done what I've always done and turned to music. This song has made me feel a little bit less sucktastic. If you're in a bad mood right now I hope this lifts your spirits too.



Enjoy,
Xoxo C.M

Starting Something New

So, as all three of my readers know...I love food. Eating, Cooking, Reading, Writing. If it has to do with food then I'm all for it. So bearing that in mind I have decided to start a food blog. I want to share my recipes with the world. The successful experiments and the not so successful ones. I'm still going to keep up with my Tips Tidbits and Shiny Stuff but this way it won't just be a featurette. I'm giving in to my obsession and I'm excited about it. I haven't figured out a name or what it it's going to look like but it is definitely coming soon. *Dorky Happy Dance*


Oh and on a totally unrelated note. I'm handing over the reigns of this crazy thing. At least for a post anyway. The lovely Sunshine is going to guest edit for me so look for that. She's totally quirky and awesome and I love her so I'm going to share her with you...Look at me being all nice and what not...



XOXO, Gossip Girl..... (Hahahaha I've always wanted to do that :) )

It's the end of the school year....

Which means my brother will now be home all day. This means that I will be forced to endure the monotony of children's TV for weeks upon weeks upon weeks. Kill me now...

I know that my mother probably felt the same way about me when I was a kid but come on...

This is what I'm dealing with:



Now imagine this on permanent loop...ALL SUMMER.................

For all of you who call us cripple

I am this girl

Okay no not really. I'm not pale, blonde or miniature. But I do identify myself as Chibi Marilyn. The whole point of this is for me to explain that I am who I say I am. No one else defines me. Nothing else defines me without my consent. Let me move on before I forget my point.

Like every other person on the planet I was called names growing up. Hell as far as I know people still call me names. At any given point of my life I have been called one or all of the following:

• Cripple
• Bow-legged
• Retarded
• The girl with the limp

At many points in my life I have had people say to me something along the lines of:

"I'll knock your knee back straight." <== As if it was straight in the first place

" I'll hit you so hard I'll make your foot straight" <=== So you're going to hit me in the foot? Fantastic. How about I crush your hand with my "not straight" foot.

I have this

Spastic Diplegia is the type that is most common and the type that I am afflicted. No there is no cure and yes I am fine with that. As a lot of people who have it will tell you, it's kind of just something you learn to live with. Sometimes we have to find creative ways to do things or just not do them at all. For instance, I can't cartwheel or ride a bike. I've never been able to cartwheel and I haven't rode a bike since after my second surgery when I was like eight or so. Most of the time when I get into a car I sit first then swing my legs in. Less pressure on my hips. And my life goes on. I walk , jog, skip, and run just like you.

These are braces

Until I was around 11 or so I wore these. I found the above picture on google and I think it's amazing. My right leg brace has Lola Bunny on it and is totally awesome. I've been in a wheelchair( only for a few weeks). I've been on crutches (seemed like forever) I've used a walker (that really was forever no matter what anyone says) I've had botox injected into my legs. I also went to school, made friends, made enemies and got in trouble for doing stupid kid stuff. I'm just like you.

So to all the people who have made me cry because I was different. I say FUCK YOU I'M FANTASTIC. Because I am and so is every other person on the planet who has it. So if you're reading this and you have it too know that I'm with you. Surgery sucks and I have cursed every physical therapist I have ever had to hell at one time or another. I know how you feel. I know what you're going through. I know you are amazing. Now all we have to do is let the rest of the world know it.

Use the word correctly...please and thanks

  

*Bonus Feature* Tips, Tidbits and Shiny Stuff Part II: It keeps getting better

Merry meet readers. I'm back with the tips, the tidbits and the shiny stuff. Strap yourself in and enjoy the ride because this time I have a lot to say. Ah hell I always have a lot to say. I could go on and on but let's move on shall we?(Ten bucks to who can tell me where I got that from)

Lets talk about Movies.!!!!

As you probably already know, I LOVE movies. If you can only say one thing about me to anyone, It'll be that I watch a lot of movies. Surprisingly enough I thoroughly HATED my intro to film class...go figure. The following movies will be ones that probably everyone in the entire world has already seen but I'm going to write about them anyway.

First up is... Beastly

Beastly is quite obviously a modern retelling of Beauty and the Beast. We all know the story...and probably still have the VHS gathering dust in a closet or in a basement somewhere. However this does deviate from your normal story. Instead of being told from the view of the girl it is told from the view of the "Beast". That I believe is to be commended. This movie is based on a book of the same name by Alex Flinn. Which of course I -being the bookworm and broke college student that i am- bought from Walmart for seven  dollars and read in a day and a half.

Ta Dah.! Book cover

Honestly I enjoyed the book more but I did enjoy the movie. It stars Vanessa Hudgens, Alex Pettyfer, Neil Patrick Harris and Mary-Kate Olsen. Of the entire cast I was most surprised to see Miss Olsen. It was a major departure from every single thing I have ever seen her in. She had some bitching wardrobe though. The movie left out a lot of elements that made me like the book in the first place and added some stuff that didn't make a shit lick of sense in my opinion. But that doesn't really subtract from the film. Although, I think the movie would have impacted me more if I was a doe-eyed 12 year old who still believed in romance and all that jazz. It was cute but I don't think anyone should be that pressed about seeing it.

Rating: 3 

And the next batter up is...Red Riding Hood

Red Riding Hood is the latest effort from Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke. It stars Amanda Seyfried who I have loved since her turn as Lily Kane in one of most under appreciated shows ever Veronica Mars. Like Beastly this is a modern retelling of a story we grew up with. Of course in it's origins Little Red Riding Hood is dark in it's own right. Seriously check these out . Anyway this movie pleasantly surprised me. It was really good. It showed how paranoia could make people do crazy things. Given any reason, humans can and will turn on each other. 

One of the coolest book covers I've seen in a while

Also in the same vain as Beastly, Red Riding Hood has a book that goes along with it. However instead of the movie being based on the book, the book is based on the movie. If you haven't seen it yet I do recommend that you read at least the first three chapters before you watch it as it does clear some things up that weren't addressed in the film. Also whatever theory you have about the identity of the wolf is probably wrong. Just thought I'd put that out there. What surprised me most was Billy Burke's performance. You may or may not know him as Charlie Swan from the Twilight series. I don't think I'll be able to look at him the same way.  Cesaire ( who he plays in the film) is a big departure from Charlie. I commend the guy for his performance. This movie definitely deserves more credit than it has received. I definitely plan on buying it when it comes out on DVD.

Rating: 3.75

Yes we have more ladies and gentleman. Next up is...Sucker Punch

Soooo much hotness

Have I mentioned how nice it is to see Vanessa Hudgens in movies that don't include singing or Zac Efron? It's really a beautiful thing. A beautiful...scantily clad...weapon toting thing. Ahhhh. I'm getting off track here. 

This movie stars Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, Vanessa Hudgens, and Jena Malone. Oh and other hot girl who's name I forget at the moment. A girl (Browning) is put into a mental institution by her dick of a step father after her mother dies and he hurts her little sister. I myself think it is totally defensible to attack the son of a bitch who attacks your sibling. But that's me. So her and the other girls that she meets while there hatch a plan to get the fuck out of that creepy place.

I can't really say much more about it because I make a conscious effort not to do spoilers. The best performances in the movie were those of  Jena Malone and Carla Gugino. This movie was panned by critics but I think it was amazing. The effects were great and on top of that it isn't based off of a book. In this day and age that is rare

Rating: 4.5

Rounding out this line up is...I am Number Four 

Making his second appearance in this post is Alex Pettyfer

For all you Glee lovers out there Dianna Agron is in the film. And for those of us who enjoy Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Luke is in it. Feel free to hate him. This film was thoroughly amusing. It made me want a Chimera. Watch this one kiddies.

Rating: 4

And we have concluded the movie section of this post. Give yourself a round of applause ladies and gents. Lets move on to some thing else I love. FOOD.!

I want to talk about zeppole. Seriously it is fantastic. And it's simple to make to boot. All you need is

• butter
• flour
• eggs
• cinnamon 
• sugar and...
• water

Put them all together and this is what you get

Seeing as I can't remember the recipe off of the top of my head I'm going to link you to the lovely Giada De Laurentiis's recipe. I've made these 4 times and each time I only got like three before whoever was in my house descended upon them and only left me a small pile of cinnamon sugar

This dandruff looking pile is all I get for my efforts

Let me know how it works for you.

And you have made it to the end. It's time to check out the shiny stuff. Now I have been visiting this site religiously lately. Perhaps it is due to the fact that I need something to laugh at now that I have sent my facebook page to the internet graveyard. No matter the reason. I present to you the hilariously informative CRACKED. 

Okay what are you still looking at this for. Go try all this stuff out. NOW. GO! SHOO! Of course...check out the song first. Your regularly scheduled rants and stuff shall return when someone new pisses me off.

Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces

Why do we try so hard to keep the people who don't deserve us? Why do we put up with one sided relationships? I just don't understand it. Can someone tell me?

Even though I'm pretty sure that the person of which I speak doesn't realize it. Our friendship is over. I really can't put up with anymore of this bullshit. I guess she deserves a nickname like everyone else I've mentioned in this blog. Let's see...I can't really think of anything that isn't an insult. Let's call her Koala. Yeah Koalas are nice...that isn't insulting.

This wouldn't even be post worthy if it wasn't for all the history that's behind it. That's what makes this hurt. All the history, the experiences, the laughs, the tears, the shared secrets, the blow outs we've recovered from... Of every friend I have I NEVER thought I would write this about her. I thought we'd be friends forever. I guess I was wrong.

Now Koala isn't my best friend but she is my oldest friend...Correction...was my oldest friend. We've stood by each other through so much and now I'm walking away. Washing my hands. Giving up.

But again I am wrong. I've stood by her. She hasn't stood by me. Not really. Not in the 19 years that we have know each other has she ever really stood by me. It has always been one sided. That sounds dramatic but it's true. How many parties have I gone to where no one else showed up? How many times have I bailed on other friends to spend time with her.? I can't even count all the instances. And has she ever done that for me? No.

Now before you think this is your basic "girl gets popular then dumps single good friend" pump the breaks. That's not what this is. I don't mean this in a rude way but...Koala is not popular nor has she ever been. We're both just...normal. Regular. The final straw for me came this past Saturday. It was a gorgeous Spring day and my mother gave me some cash and encourage me and one of my besties Waterlilly to get out. To go out to eat or something like that. Thinking that was a fantastic idea. I jumped up and called Koala. Asking Waterlilly first of course seeing as we were taking her car and I definitely not consider the two friends by any means. So I called and extended the invitation and I got a semi enthusiastic yes. With some semblance of a plan in motion I went to change out of my Tweety Bird PJ's. Now unbeknown to me Koala had called back. When I saw the missed call I called her back. She answered and told me that she wasn't going to be able to hang out with us. I asked why. The following is a mostly accurate transcription of our conversation.

Me: Oh? Why not?

Koala: There's just too much stuff to do around here

(in the background) K's mom: She's lying  

Me (irritated now): Why don't you really want to go?

K: I just don't feel like it. 

Me: So you rather just sit in your apartment rather than spend time with me?

K: I don't have any money ****** (<== my name)

Me: You know I'd pay for you. It's not like we're going anywhere special or anything

K: I'm tired.

Me: Alright fine. You don't want to hang out with me then I'm not going to force you.

K: Alright.

Me: Bye

K: Bye

Me: (more to myself and waterlilly)  Well fuck you then  

The call was still running and I don't know if she heard me say that but at this point I don't really care if she did. I was hurt. If she didn't want to spend time with me then fine. I could get over that. What I can't get over is that she blatantly lied to me. And in front of her mother who called her out. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have known I was being lied to. It made me question all the other times I had invited her to do something with me and she bailed. Had she lied to me then too?

It dawned on me then that I always had to force her to do things with me. Like I said before, I have gone to the parties that she's had that NO ONE showed up to and she never did that for me. I had a graduation party and she only stayed for 15 minutes. I was 17 at the time so it was like.... 17 fucking years of fucking friendship and you only stay at my fucking party for 15 fucking minutes. What the fucking fuck.? Wow I used that word a lot.  Moving on.

This is running long so I'm going to condense all I was going to say to a fine point. No one should ever have to try that hard with someone who is supposed to be their friend. The fact that she lied to me so bold faced is fucking (there's my word again) disrespectful and I won't forgive it. EVER. So if your reading this and you're going through anything like this drop whoever it is. I'm telling you to do it. DO IT NOW.! I'm not saying it's going to be easy. Because it isn't. Feel free to cry. I did. I've known Koala for 19 years (since I was born ) So this is difficult for me. I'm not just talking out of my ass. I'm just telling you what you and I both seem to have trouble grasping

!!!!!.YOU DESERVE BETTER.!!!!!!!