So umm yeah...I've been meaning to call you but uhhh...like...life you know...

So errr...yup...hi. I've been neglecting this. Don't I start out this way a lot? Anyway I figure this is just my smoke signal post. To let you know I'm still alive and all that. I don't even have anything to rant about because I'm too fucking tired. I have no clever quips or stupid romantic problems (for once...for now...) I've got absolutely nothing for ya...sorry. This really is a waste of your time. I'll get back into this I promise. And actually be some sort of amusing at some point. Give me a few days.

Like I started school about two weeks ago now. And I've been sitting on my ass for a year so me trying to get back in the swing of it has been good. I fucking procrastinate like a fucking champ dude. I'm sorry. I'm sleepy so every other word out of my mouth is fuck. Avert your eyes kiddies and virtuous ones. My grades are looking pretty good so far..in case you were wondering. In case anyone's reading.

Uhhhh...what else.? There's this girl I want. But there's always a girl right. Maybe I think with my lady boner (don't ask I heard it on tv somewhere) But that's not really an issue. I don't think I have a chance. Errr...I went to Uproar on the ninth and it was fucking amazing. Popped my Banana's A7X cherry. Screamed my head off. It was all good bro. 

All the TV shows I watch are on hiatus or over so now I don't have shit to do *cough*homework*cough* So I'll be back on here trying to be funny more often. I have class in a few hours so I should go. Just wanted to let you know that I'm still here. Are you with me still? Goodnight.

P.S. To Alan Ball and Marlene King,

                    WHAT THE FUCK DUDE.? LIKE REALLY.!

                                                          Sincerely, Me

                                                                     

Attack of the Baby Boomers?!!?!?!?!!

 Yet another one of my friends has given birth to a child. Countless other people I graduated high school with are pregnant as I type this. So I was wondering...Is this the new generation of baby boomers.? Has the definition of the phrase changed from this: 

To this?:

Will the influx of babies born to babies be what we're remembered for? That's depressing to think about. Why can't we be known for how intelligent we are or how we're going to shape the future of this country? But   alas we bring you this:

While teen pregnancy rates are dropping there seems to be no shortage of teenage girls spreading their legs and bringing yet another mouth to feed into the world. Good job girls...Good job.

P.S. I begrudge no one their happiness. I have no ill will toward teen mothers. I am the product of a teen mother. I just don't think it should be glorified like it is now....Fucking MTV

One day...

I will have accomplished all that I want to. I'll be able to look back at this moment and say that I made it. But that is not now and once again I'm bummed out. It is unfathomably difficult to watch your plans crash and burn. And sometimes I think that I am going to feel this way forever. But at the same time I know that I won't. It will get better. I'll probably end up writing a letter to my 19 year old self. I'll tell myself that it all turned out rosy and the hardships gave me character...or something.

One day I'll be able to create this:

In my sleep

One day I'll wear on of these:

I'm realizing now that it's okay for things to not go exactly according to plan. I'm learning that I do not have to adhere myself to some insanely strict life schedule. I'm learning to take my time. It's hard but I'm trying.

Adieu Amy Adieu

I never expected to see R.I.P. Amy Winehouse all over the internet this past weekend. But I did. We all did. Now that I'm over my denial I can say that I am truly sad. Sad for the loss of this talent. Sad for the loss of this young woman . I feel like she had a lot to offer. Now there are these articles floating around say that she has joined the famous 27 Club. They say she has join the ranks of Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, and Kurt Cobain. The comparison is saddening really. Is that fact that she died young going to overshadow her gift? Addictions notwithstanding she was an amazing talent and a voice like that is going to be missed.

Adieu Ms. Winehouse Adieu

Art is Dead

I love Bo Burnham. I wanted to share this with you...

Did this affect you as much as it did me?

Adventures in Babysitting

Over the last few days I have been babysitting both my little brother and my little cousin. While at this point I'm not sure if I'd ever have a kid of my own I am sure that the imaginations of  little ones have no bounds and that makes me kind of jealous. Also kids tend to ask me things I have 1) Never thought of before or 2) have no idea how to explain to a 4 and 6 year old respectively. My favorite little gems include

1. Why does your kitty have paws?
2. Why do you have a mommy?
3. Where is your mommy? (me: at work) Why? (Me:to get money) Why is your mommy stealing money? (me: What?)

Needles to say I find them adorable in a weird sort of way. Now if you excuse me I have cookies to make and flowers to pick.

/Flower cookies.!

Joie De La Lecture*

Do you love books? I love books. Let's talk about books okay? Okay cool

Out of the six books that I've had on my roster I've finished three of them but I want to talk about two of them in particular. I finished both of these books in the last week or so and the endings stick with me. My mood goes from enraged to confused depending on which book you ask me about.

First up is: Bastard out of Carolina by Dorthy Allison

I know a lot people have probably seen the film adaptation of this book. Starring the lovely Jena Malone However I think it might be more famous or infamous based on how many people flat out refuse to read or watch it. Well allow me to join the ranks of the few and proud who have done both. And honestly people there were times in both instances when I thought I wouldn't make it to the end.

This book is by far the most disturbing thing I have ever read. I went into this thinking that there was no way that this book could be more disturbing than the film. Newsflash: I was WRONG.



Do me a favor dear reader and watch 4:57-9:52. Can you stomach it? I have to say that I was happy as hell when Bone's uncles beat the shit out of that son of a bitch. It was by far my favorite part of the entire film. Now that you are armed with this knowledge I can explain to you why the book enrages me so. I watched the movie before I read the book. I knew how this was going to end. That didn't change the fact that I kept hoping that Anney would grow a damn brain. I kept hoping that she would leave that puss bucket and do right by her daughters which is what she preaches about all the damn time. But that didn't happen. She was even more infuriating in book form. I also have to point out how twisted Bone's way of thinking became as the book went on. It was frightening and painful and... honest

That's the one positive thing I can say about this book. And it really isn't a compliment. Bone's voice is so real . There isn't any sugarcoating or any fancy words. It's just her. I cannot say that I recommend this book or film to anyone. I think that has to be a choice you have to make on your own. All I can say is:

STOP CHILD ABUSE AND MOLESTATION!!!

And let's move on to something less dark

Hahaha See what I did there.? *crickets*

Awakened is the eighth book in the House of Night Series. If you have a penitent for vampires like I do I suggest you pick this up. Seriously it's infuriatingly good and it's not just some mushy romance novel. *cough* Twilight *cough* It actually adds to the always growing vampire mythos. There is so much mythology in this story. It has a great grasp of different cultures and histories as well as belief systems It's all blended into this amazing series of which I'm eight books into and haven't given up on. * Seeing as I don't do spoilers there isn't much I can say. After all this is book eight and some of you have yet to read book one. But the following things I have to put out there.

1. You CANNOT put red tattoos on a Raven Mocker, through him on the cover and go through the entire book and not explain where the hell they came from! It's just not right.
2. Dearest Dragon, I understand your pain (okay maybe I don't ) but seriously GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!
3. WHY JACK.? Tell me P.C. ! WHY JACK.? It could've been  Erik. No one would have minded that.

 *Sigh* Books 

Notes:

* Joie De La Lecture translates to "The Joy of Reading" Which I got off of a T-Shirt designed by the oh so amazing Bethany Joy Galeotti (Haley James Scott OTH) I'm broke but you should totally go buy a shirt because the proceeds go to charity and I mean come on...It's Haley!

*You're probably going to hate me for this but I gave up on Harry Potter 1 page into The Goblet of Fire